Disco biscuits, being grumpy and TWATs

Other things I’ve learned today.

An election is exciting for journalists. The Panther of News had a spring in his step this morning when he headed off to work. He’ll doubtless be facing the usual pictures of polling stations in remote pubs, with sheep, the great and the good voting and the ‘hilarious’ lengths folk have gone to to have a say. He’s also got a pocket full of these.

You have to be 40 to qualify for being grumpy and old. Wendy Peters was talking to Graeme Norton on the radio this morning about her recruitment for the cast of Grumpy Old Women. “You’re over 40, you’ll do.” Every cloud…

In my head, I’ve invented the ultimate gadget. It’s called The Wedge of Alternate Time – TWAT for short. It’s a wonderful thingy that you can use to prise more time into every day. With it you can sneak a phone call between the breakfast and the nursery run. A little retail therapy between the nappy aisle and the fishfinger deep freeze. Some me-time between Cubs and husband homecoming. A yoga class between filing glittering copy and cooking home-made meals. A romantic and passionate weekend break between football training and fish and chip Friday (yes with you, PoN). A heart-warming chat with a chum between sweeping Cheerios off the floor and getting ready for work. If any politicians can come up with one – or at least funding for research they’ll get my mark. In fact vote I’d vote for the TWAT. (Wasn’t that a long way round for a lame joke?)

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  1. says

    Made me lol!

    What gets me is some women seem to manage so much more than me. I'm beginning to think having loads of energy is a genetic quality I haven't been blessed with –

    I love to read your blog – I used to work in news as a floor manager/station assistant, and met my husband whilst putting numbers on weather maps! So different to my life now!

    Wishing you a good day


  2. Debbie says

    I'm old enough to qualify for Grumpy Old Women – and young enough to remember when disco biscuits meant something else entirely. Hope the Panther has a good day and all his wishes for it come true – and his publication's wishes don't

  3. says

    Maisey's Attic, Thanks. You might be right about energy, although I often have some I just can't point it in the right direction.

    TNMA, As if! Sadly though I'm going to have to pick a twat to vote for as there don't appear to be any other options. Just not THAT twat though.

    Debbie, am hoping the Panther prefers this kind of disco biscuit although sometimes it seems the affect is similar. x

  4. Cath says

    Must get myself some disco biscuits!! Where were they from? I'm guessing Lidl – they have a whole isles dedicated to oddities like this.

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