Crimes against my children

Boy One escapes his evil mother

I stand accused of crimes against my children. The most recent of which was earlier this week and I fear I’m guilty.

Boy One isn’t at home this week. He’s at an outdoor pursuit centre with his classmates. I hope he’s having a ball. He’s supposed to be climbing, canoeing, orienteering, cliff walking or otherwise getting wet. I really hope, it’s going well for him. A good week like this and he’ll cherish it for the rest of his life.

It didn’t start well, though. We were at school, the Boy and I and his huge suitcase (six pairs of tracksuit bottoms, if you please). His nerves started to give way to excitement and he joined his friends. I spied another mum I wanted to speak to. So, I went over to let him know where I’d be while we waited for the bus and the Big Wave Off.

I called him his pet name.

Oh no. The moment I’d uttered it I knew. His friends – nice fellows all – had barely noticed, but my Boy had gone red and curled up like a slug with salt on it. His hands were covering his blushing cheeks. “How could you mum?” I so wish I could take it back.

It’s not my first crime, nor, likely my last, just the most recent. Clearly, I’ve sent the boys to school in uniform on come as you please days, failed totally to bake anything when I was supposed to, not given them money when I was supposed to, forgotten about early pick-ups and left them sitting on the doorstep and a host of other dreadful deeds. But Monday’s mistake will take quite a lot of popcorn in front of the telly time to redeem myself.

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  1. says

    Oh Ellen, I can't help but laugh! I'm so guilty of these too but surely misdemeanours like these do not count. Do they…

    Camp will be a blast. Xx

  2. says

    You have redeemed yourself by not telling the blogging world what his pet name is :) Our 9 year-old is mortified by our very presence in front of her friends, let alone giving her a cuddle at the schoolgates. Very funny post.

  3. says

    Hahahahaha you and me both!!!

    Oh I'm sure he'll forgive you, just make sure you have all his favourite food for him when he gets back from his trip.

    I'm sure he'll have had a great time. And your penance with be washing those 6 pairs of track suit bottoms along with every other item of clothing he took, because believe you me each and every one will be coverd in mud…take it from someone who knows ;)) x

  4. says

    Oh no! Your story did make me laugh though (sorry).

    Hopefully the excitement of the week will have made him forget all about it….

  5. says


    I teach at my son's school. He's nearly 8. It used to be cool that his “mummy” was a teacher, now it's less so that I am “Mum”

    We have a list of things that we don't do at school, and his pet name is on there!

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