Trench warfare: style statement from an Aspie

Last night, Boy One announced that he would like one of those dressing gown coats. You know? With the tie thing that’s like a belt but not quite. 


Eventually it transpired that what he wants is a trench coat – detective style. Like Columbo, or, his hero, Skulduggery Pleasant. 

(Last time I wrote about Columbo, the actor Peter Falk died the day after the post which was somewhat strange.)

“It looks really cool, like a detective. Plus, as well, it would also keep me warm and dry,” he explained.

So do I buy my 12-year-old son an trench coat?

Why I should:

  • He’s right, it can look cool.
  • He’s never shown an interest in what he wears before so the change should be embraced. 
  • Adopting a signature style isn’t a bad idea. People with a big enough personality to wear hats, capes and the like without looking foolish are inevitably attractive.
  • It would keep him warm and dry.

Why I shouldn’t.

  • He’s 12 and very tall and skinny. I fear he might look somewhat daft.
  • Having Asperger’s, he doesn’t need anything else that might draw the attention of bullies. 
  • A signature look on one so young might be mistaken for fancy dress.

What would you do?

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  1. says

    Actually seems like a sensible choice for a coat! It will keep him dry and warm, so why not, and maybe it will look a little silly, does that matter. He will be happy, and you will be A number 1 in his book by making his day…I say win win :-)

  2. says

    Buy it and let him express his individuality. If he doesn't enjoy it, he'll “retire” it. I speak of the mother of a son with skinny purple jeans…at the back of the wardrobe.

  3. says

    I'd say go with it. You'll want to encourage him to make decisions about other things as he's becoming a teenager so starting with something harmless like a trench coat seems like a good starting point to me. You could always help him to pick something a bit less conspicuous than the columbo look if he's alright with a different colour. I'd reckon if you put a stop to this one the demands will only become more outrageous. Don't envy you trying to find one though! The Post made me smile in my lunch hour. Thanks

  4. says

    just say yes….the hell of saying no and 'ruining' his life….as I've been told I've done….far out ways any heckling from the fashion police….and who knows he might look brilliant!!

  5. says

    I wonde if you mIght be able to find a style that has the edge taken off it somewhat as a sort if compromise? I doubt whether you'll find the Columbo style for a 12 year old anyway.

    My 12 year old also likes trench coats and they were actually in fashion for girls but I've still found her a slightly toned-down red one.

    He'll probably always need to tone down his style choices to fit what's available and this might be a starting point and a compromise that doesn't bring all the possible negatives crashing down on his head. You wouldn't want to scare him away completely from making his own style statements.

  6. says

    I'd be rather wary of the “so what if he dies look a little silly” approach for a 12 yr old. Speaking from experience, children usually need to fit in without looking silly and can be ostracised if they do.

    When he's a little older, the others will mind much less if he lOoks a little “Indie.”

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