|On the sofa with Richard and Judy|
There are some things you don’t want to inflict on your imagination, ever. Jeremy Clarkson as Christian 50 Shades, Geri Halliwell and Russell Grant doing yoga, or Richard and Judy in any form of intimate act.
But then, weirdly, when presented with one of those images you just can’t keep your eyes off it, train-crash style.
I know this because there is a picture ‘out there’ of R and J on the familiar setting of a sofa doing something very unfamiliar. Troubling doesn’t begin to cover it.
Now this image is a very good fake, not the real thing. An original does exist and, in any case, Judy would demand a much classier sofa than that. But, if like me, you dwell on the Internet at all, you’ve probably seen it all and know exactly what I’m talking about. You may even still be suffering unpleasant flashbacks.
Later, in a newspaper office I overheard a phone call. Someone claiming to be the photographer was offering the R&J image for sale. Not only was he professing to be the sleazy snapper but was claiming to have been an, erm, occupant of the sofa.
He alleged that the couple were paying other papers not to publish.
What he failed to grasp, matters of taste and veracity aside, was that what people do in privacy is by-and-large their own business.
And, furthermore, if there was after all that still a story, the chances of it making the paper are utterly remote in these post Leveson days of media caution.
All of which is weird considering how many thousands of people have had the misfortune to see this doctored snap on their internet devices in the comfort of their own homes.