Things I’ve learned from eBay

Some people turn to drink, others eat chocolate. A good cry, or a hysterical shout can also hit the spot. Folk play patience or phone their lovers or their mothers. Gazing out of the window or running a hot bath.

But for me it’s eBay. 

I’m talking about your pressure-release activity – the thing you find yourself doing when you’re too tired/bored/fed-up/stressed by the thing you’re supposed to be doing. Don’t try to tell me you don’t have one, I don’t believe you. 

I find myself on eBay at completely inappropriate moments not having any idea how I got there at all. Suddenly, I’m utterly absorbed by the search for a onesie or the perfect purse.There will be no sleep for me until I have found and put in a bid on a garden ornament or storage solution that I simply cannot live without. 

Must have items (by decoder420 via flickr)

Don’t judge me, it’s just how it is. Go on, look deep into your soul and ask yourself exactly how many times you found yourself making a crisp sandwich…

Anyhow, it’s not all bad. I did learn a few things…

Onesies are surprisingly popular. They go for far more than you’d think. 

There are more sneaky ways of describing plastic than you could ever have thought possible: faux leather, leather-look, waterproof leather (!).

It’s a gift that keeps on giving as eventually the doorbell may ring and someone from Parcelforce or similar will be there inviting you to sign a gadget with a not-pen.

parcels in force

Disappointment is never far away. The item you considered to be perfect in the tiny, slightly smudged picture, will almost certainly let you down, even if it’s the matter of a few stray cat hairs in the Jiffybag too. 

Someone else’s tat is almost always still someone else’s tat. 

Buying things at auction, usually means you don’t have to actually buy them in the end… except when you do. 

However easy it is to bid on eBay items, I find it almost impossible to sell items on the same medium. 

The brand names used by Asda, Primark and Aldi quickly become recognisable, but not until after your first purchase. 

It is definitely an oversight on the part of eBay that their isn’t a category just called “weird stuff”.

EBay is somewhere that must never, ever be visited whilst under the influence of alcohol or very upset. 

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