Ordinary sledging is just not enough. Standing up sledging is the way to go – or rather the wahey to go. Boy One discovered an unexpected ability in this department. Unwilling to be outdone, Boy Two discovers an uncomfortable inability to know when to leap off safely.
Children, especially Boy children, do not understand body image sensibilities.
“Mummy, when will your big fat baby tummy go away?” said Boy Two patting the offending area.
The shinier the better. Boy Three will drop anything – apart from food – when a brighter, shinier, glitterier thing comes along.
Other things I’ve learned:
Standing up sledging is not to be recommended for people for whom repeated pregnancies has rendered the pelvis less stable than it once was.