|For fox sake…|
That’s it then, a domestic mystery solved. It seems that some 5000 socks and pants (yes pants!) turn up in our drains every year. This accounts for the weekly dating game I play with the lonely solo garments… and why no matter how hard you try, there are always an increasing number of singletons.
I once had so many odd socks that I was able to spread them out in ten sets of ten in order to use them to explain long division to a child. We had reached a desperate point in maths education: it turned out that what he called deconstruction was what I called carrying ten and I hadn’t listened at that particular parents’ evening.
I’m happy, because after listening to So You Want To Be An Exorcist on Radio 4 yesterday where yoga was cited as a reason for the increase in the number of cases of possession I was becoming concerned.
In order to be sure there are no evil spirits causing domestic mayhem I have one or two more mysteries I’d like solve.
- Who sneaks into my house to return empty boxes and cartons to shelves?
- Is that the same person as the one who sneaks in to dribble a few drops of wee by the toilet?
- How toothbrushes just used to clean teeth are curiously dry on inspection.
- Where my glasses are.
- Who eats all the peanut butter.
- Where the used up batteries come from.
- Why the rest of the family suddenly lose their sense of smell just when Boy Three has filled his nappy.
- What force makes all the radios tune magically in to Radio 5 when I leave the room for a while.
- Why there is never any grown-up chocolate when I really need some.
- What force impels people to make noise near me at either 7pm or 2pm on a weekday.