• My Book
  • Hire Me
  • Shoe Thing
  • Blog
  • Contact

In a bun dance

If I'm going to get something, I usually get it in spades - luck (both kinds), children, clutter, dirty laundry, bright ideas, daft ideas...

  • Home
  • Family
  • My Life
  • The World
  • Feminism
  • Blogging
  • Creative Writing
  • Reviews
  • Blog
You are here: Home / humour / Noises to make a mother’s heart sink…

Noises to make a mother’s heart sink…

October 7, 2011 By Ellen

There I was sitting on the loo. When I heard it and my heart sank.

I had sneaked away from the fray children to use the furthest away facility, the one in the the en suite.

Of course I hadn’t shut the door, it’s the en suite.

So when I heard small but heavy foot steps advancing to the cry of “mummy where are yooou?” my heart sank.

Messy toddler talks to a Dalek
A boy discusses important matters with his Dalek

It occurred to me that there are a great many sounds that make a parent’s heart sink.

These include:

  • A shout followed by breath-holding silence. it will need attention.

  • The burpy bark that precedes a vomit. Get there fast an you might avert carpet annihilation
  • Any very loud smashy kind of clatter. Especially if it comes before a stunned silence.
  • Brothers clamouring loudly over the top of each other. Apparently actually knocking heads together is frowned on.
  • The almost nonchalant “no” that heralds a howling tantrum. 
  • “Mum, I can’t find my…. ” when you know it’s there.
  • A pasticky crunch underfoot, it will always be a loved and essential thing not a Mcdonald’s toy.
  • The phone ringing off as no one bothers to answer it.
  • The phone being answered and it’s a work contact being told “mums in the toilet”. 
  • But, the most alarming of all, total silence when you know there are children within ear shout. They are bound to be up to no good.

Tweet

Filed Under: humour, joke, parenting, tantrum, toddler

Comments

  1. mrs green @ littlegreenblog.com says

    October 8, 2011 at 8:23 am

    LOL! genius! I've had the 'Mum's having a poo' notification given to a telephone caller. And as my DD was 8 at the time, and had been bought up to always be honest, what could I say?!

    And then, there's always the sound of the doorbell at 7am when you were enjoying some 'me time' before the household awakes…

  2. Ellen Arnison says

    October 8, 2011 at 8:56 am

    Mrs Green, Thanks. Oh yes, the doorbell – generally often that's a heart-sinker too – it'll be window cleaner needing paid, charity collection, someone from an electricity firm or the Jehovah's Witnesses.

  3. Crystal Jigsaw says

    October 8, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Great post! I always worry when I can't hear Amy though she is getting better at not breaking things…!

    CJ xx

  4. Ellen Arnison says

    October 8, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    Thanks CJ, we're never happy are we!

  5. ghostwritermummy says

    October 9, 2011 at 7:14 am

    The sound of my son bumping his head on the headboard of his bed, which sets off his sound and light machine, which in turn wakes him up and prompts this sound:
    “MUMMY!MUMMY!MUMMY!OUT!”

    XxX

  6. Ellen Arnison says

    October 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Ghostwritermummy, that would do it for me too.

  7. bumps2babies says

    October 9, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    LOL love it, great post 🙂

  8. Kerri @ Baby Monitors Online says

    October 11, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    Haha great post! Love the one where they tell the work contact that 'mum is on the toilet', kids are so honest aren't they?! 🙂

  9. Ellen Arnison says

    October 12, 2011 at 8:35 am

    bumps2babies, thanks

    Kerri, And it'll always be someone you're trying to impress..

  10. thebayattic says

    October 12, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Hi Ellen, Been a bit slow on the uptake, just discovered your blog today ! Should have found it sooner. Love this post, so true.

  11. Ellen Arnison says

    October 12, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Hi Bayattic, Thanks.

  12. merry weather says

    July 23, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    Laughing! Very good 🙂

    Plasticky crunch – reminds me of stepping on youngest's new glasses: early morning, waking him up, in the dark…

    Doh!

◄ Melanie Reid’s appeal for The Spinal Injuries Association
Why football in our street is a balls up ►

Connect

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

Categories

Archives

hotter blogger badge

Copyright © 2023 · Lifestyle Pro Theme On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in