|The laddie is a vamp|
Admittedly not first with the latest, but his weekend I watched the first of the Twilight movies… just to see what the fuss is all about, you understand.
The Twilight films are a series of supernatural romances based on the books by Stephenie Mayer. They involve a vampire, played by Robert Pattinson, who has the hots (as much as anyone who isn’t actually alive can get the hots) for a human played by Kristen Stewart.
Sharp-eyed parents will have noticed Pattinson as doomed prefect Cedric Diggery in the Harry Potter films. Specialising as a far-too grown up school boy, at least Rob has an excuse as Edward Cullen in Twilight – he’s 104.
And what is the fuss all about then? Well actually if you excuse Twilight a few moments of supernatural silliness it’s a proper, simmering, slow-burn love story. Rob smolders with animal urgst – “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to resist” and Kristen, well, she does a fine turn as a stroppy teen. That bit where Edward puts his arm around Bella Swan and everyone at school looks on is high-school romance in a nutshell.
It’s very sexy without there being any actual sex and the swelling soundtrack just adds to the intensity. And when movies are so often set in sunny blue-skied places, it was wonderful to see the mist-and-pine moodiness of Washington State. I’ve been there and it really is like that although I don’t remember any blood-sucking creatures shinning up trees at top speed or playing baseball in the thunder.
I do have a few questions:
- Carlisle Cullen is a doctor, surely he can get his hands on an almost plentiful supply of blood, can’t he?
- If it’s so hard for the vamp family to restrain themselves over a drop of the red stuff, how can he manage in a hospital?
- Doesn’t a diet of only blood make you terribly constipated and wouldn’t that account for Edward’s miserable face most of the time?
- Why do you have to keep on repeating high school when you’ve been 87 times?
Come on, Twihards help me out here. I feel a serious Edward Cullen fixation coming on, but if I’m going to invest in the New Moon DVD and work my way up to the one that’s on at the pictures, I need some answers.
PS, before he asks, I’d like to point out that in some lights the Panther of News and Robert Pattinson are virtually indistinguishable. And, ask yourself, have you ever seen them in the same room?