There’s been a revolution in Morrisons. Previously there were shelves and faux market stall striped awnings to hold the carrots and cabbage.
Then something happened.
The bags of lettuce and racks of bananas had to bunch up (see what I did there?) to make room for the vegetables from outer space… Or somewhere.
The alien brassicas had steered their vast shiny vessel to the front of the Johnstone store where it still sits shuddering and blasting eerie steam over the herbs like it’ll make a difference.
And on the space ship of salad are icicle radishes, mysterious herbs, oddly upstanding asparagus and sodding samphire. The UFO’s satnav was clearly on the blink having failed to take them to the funky city centre. Sodding samphire.