Boy Three had his first swimming lesson today. It was time, with no sense of self preservation there was the increasing danger that he might learn the hard way that it’s actually the arm bands keeping him afloat.
So after long and involved negotiations that saw him booked into Tuesday afternoon lessons, we set off for a Monday class because, after all, Tuesday was full and Monday wasn’t.
It was my first visit to the new sports centre at Linwood. It’s very lovely in everything bar the name. Someone thought it was a good idea to call it On-X not New Linwood Sports Centre or something.
Here’s what I learned through Boy Three’s swimming lessons.
His bum is the wrong shape. It doesn’t matter what that child wears and whether it’s tight or loose or just right, it will fall down and show everyone his bum crack. Braces might be the answer if I could find some, but they might look a bit odd on his swimming trunks.
They’re supposed to wear goggles. But given Boy Three’s lack of success in wearing other items successfully, I hold no hope for him keeping them on.
Enjoy a moment’s me time. He’d been so anxious before the lesson that I spent the whole time sitting on the overheated poolside like a proper attentive mother. When he got out he said: “So did you go for a cup of tea then?” Never even missed me.
Be prepared for a soaking. It’s almost impossible to turn on a push-button operated shower while fully dressed without getting very wet. Equally the button mechanism is too strong for a four-year-old to operate by himself.
Have some distracting conversation ready. While getting dressed in the ‘changing village’ Boy Three challenged me to a willy fight. Apparently it’s like a sword fight only different. I have asked every member of this family where he might have got the notion for this and they deny all knowledge. Telling him it wasn’t a good idea didn’t improve matters. “Never mind mummy, we can have a willy kiss instead.”
I have just written about exactly this – the 4yo having to learn because he thinks he can swim – but this is much, much funnier. Laughed all the way through it, sorry. Mine wears his goggles in the bath – it really helps and I don't shower him afterwards. He's not into willy fighting but he is into waving it around and showing it off, which isn't necessarily restricted to any sort of 'changing village' – he'll do that anywhere 🙂
It's just as we'll they're quite small and cute. I might try goggles at ther times as he spends quite a lot of time in a ski mask, like you do.
We're on about our 4th round of FSLs (I'm sure you can guess what that stands for). C has had all kinds of anxieties (and poolside meltdowns) about learning to swim and has now seen that swimming is great fun. I booked her in for a crash course over the summer which was really successful — swimming every morning for two weeks — but because she can now move (badly) from one side of the pool to the other, she was moved up a level so she's now at level 2 of 7, only she thinks she can now swim and has no need for lessons. I think it's one of those battles that's going to run and run, but I will not give in!
Oh, and her teacher has taught her that you have to press the goggles into your eyes to create a seal, which keeps them on and leaves a fetching mark when you take them off.
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The big boys had lessons for years. They were quite happy bit I did wonder if after a certain point it wasn't just a bit pointless as they weren't learning much.
Excellent tip.