I like you, I really do. That’s why I visit often. Frequently, I’m found pondering what’s for tea or finding the one thing I’ve run out of in your sell stocked aisles. You’re handy and there’s parking.
I love your loyalty card and the fact you send me a dividend every year – in fact, I’m still working out what to do with the £1.82. You are there for me when my forward planning has failed yet again or when I’ve been in some other way lackadaisical. You’ve got my back, as they say. Toilet roll, candied peel or anchovies… whatever I need, I know I can depend on you.
So today I was somewhat surprised to find this on the shelf. It was there with other festive, luxury items as if it hadn’t done anything wrong. I could just about forgive the shortbread, as you never know the minute there’ll be a shortbread-based emergency and, arguably, it’s an economy to only produce holly scrawled packaging.
But not brandy liqueurs. They are only for Christmas – and Christmas is in 88 days (or nearly 13 weeks) (or three months).
This would be annoying enough in an ordinary shop, but it’s completely unacceptable in a shop specifically designed for people who don’t think ahead very well.
I don’t want to spend the next 88 days wandering in thinking “what can we have for supper?” or “what was it I forgot/we ran out of?” only to come face to face with brandy liqueurs. This will make me think: “Oh hell, is it nearly Christmas, I haven’t begun to consider my preparations for that yet?”
So please take the liqueur chocs away for a few more weeks at least, I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other things you can put in that space, things you know I’ve forgotten… remind me of them, not the not even looming yet season of goodwill.