And so. Boy Three is six. Has been for a while. Any notion that this. THIS. Can be blamed on baby weight is must be rejected. It’s all my own work.
The scales tell me that I weigh 80. I don’t know what this means as I have set them to a measurement I don’t understand – the stones and pounds version being simply too distressing.
I clearly don’t care too much about this state of affairs, what with me being 8ft tall and all. Or I’d have done something about it long ago*. And it doesn’t stop me running (slowly), cycling (badly) and walking (very well, though I say so myself). So that’s OK then.
Only it’s not really. I catch sight of myself and think who is that stout middle-aged woman? She’s totally at odds with the person on the inside.
*That’s not strictly true. I just haven’t succeeded yet. I’ve tried lots of things.
- Slimming clubs: Boring and too much counting
- Five – two: Effective but drove me insane. Dreaming of toast and muttering.
- No carb: Catching myself dipping rolled-up ham into peanut butter and wondering why I wasn’t thin yet. Hmm.
- Exercise: Alone does not work unless you do it instead of eating.
- Gin & misery: Effective but the upheaval is so not worth it.
- Hypnotherapy: Worked for a while.
Apathetic I plodded on, roundly. Then a PR company asked if I’d like to review some fabulous new (totally safe, healthy, blah blah) diet pills that would “get back to the real you”. Lord knows who she is, but effort-free weight loss had to be worth a shot.
Obviously, before anyone feels the need to point it out, the only way to lose weight is to move more than you eat and not succumb to chocolate, mayonnaise, butter, cheese, gin, wine, sweeties, bacon and shortbread. But that’s a bit like saying that the only way to have a clean house is to kill everyone else who lives there. In other words, it’s (probably) not going to happen.
So I began taking XLS Medical – two pills before lunch and two before supper. They do leave you inclined to eat less – if you remember to take them. And over time, provided you don’t see it as carte blanche to scoff the contents of the fridge, they’ll help.
It’s like giving up smoking, one thing alone is unlikely to solve the issue at once. It’s a case of using all the tools you can find at the same time as understanding how to stop doing something you don’t want to do. Eventually, if you keep at it, you’ll get there.