When we went to Gozo…

Less than a week since we came home and already the photos are making me sigh fondly. We went to Gozo on our hols this year, stayed in an Airbnb place and had a ball.

Here’s what we learned.

If you have to go swimming then have your own pool. Our digs had its own pool – not huge, but big enough for us and it was a real treat not to have to share it with anyone else. Not sure what that says about us though.

Valletta is beautiful. Lots of old stuff and history at every turn.

St Elmo will fire you up. The fort is the home of the Malta At War museum. Tired and slightly jaded as I was by the time we got there, I was fascinated. Worth a visit.

You’ll learn the lessons of history… eventually. We loved Malta and some of us are keen on history (looking at you Boy One), but I now feel that I don’t need to hear any more about the Knights or the seige or the nasty Turks for a very long time.

Whatever floats your boat. We tried a pedalo with a slide (classy, I know), kayaks and a motor boat and then couldn’t agree which we’d liked best. The kayak got my vote but I think I’ll be padelling alone next time.

Globigerina is a kind of limestone. And almost as funny a word as ‘spectacles’ and ‘undulate’.

Cards Against Humanity is a good game, but not necessarily when you play with teenage boys. At Boys One and Two’s suggestion, we played Cards Against Humanity and I can see the potential, but I’d probably like it better played with people who don’t just vote for the poo joke. These are the same teenage boys who sniggered every single time anyone talked about Titty in the audiobook of Swallows and Amazons. Every single time.

Swearing is for losers. Especially when playing Bananagrams. All the Boys and the Panther wasted so much time trying to spell rude words that they lost.

36 years is a long time to remain relevant. However, the Popeye Village Theme Park manages it. Just. Especially if you go out in the bay and play on the floating trampolines.

A shinier hire car would have caused anxiety. Malta and Gozo is hard on cars – heat, steep hills and melty uneven roads add up to a flourishing clutch replacement business.

Get a hat that fits. If you want to get ahead. Every year I get a holiday hat and then find it doesn’t fit properly and spend an annoying day holding it on my head before giving up on it.