Fake it until you make it is one of the best mantras when it comes to confidence. Confidence itself is not something you are born with. It is something that takes years if not decades to build. It is more than self-love alone. It is believing in yourself and in your abilities. Confidence can make you a better person, a better friend, and a better worker. To have confidence you have to be sure of who you are, and you have to like who you are.
Building this confidence, however, can be difficult. Traumatic experiences, abusive relationships, and severe setbacks like job loss or divorce can all negatively impact your self-esteem. Trauma doesn’t have to have occurred in your past, either. How others treat you on a day-to-day basis can also have a huge impact on the image you have of yourself. This low self-esteem can then lead to more serious conditions, like depression or anxiety.
Breaking out of the downward spiral is your best shot at happiness. Just as low self-esteem can cause your mental health to spiral downwards, building your confidence has positive reinforcement potential. Complete a goal, and feel good. Continue to complete goals, feel better. The more you succeed, the more confident you become. The more confident you become, the more opportunities will be available to you and the more you can succeed.
How do you build up your confidence? You start small, and you follow these 10 easy steps:
- Make Lists
The first step is to put yourself into perspective. Sit down and write a list of your strengths, and of your achievements. Any achievement, no matter how small, deserves to be on that list. It could be that you picked up someone’s pen after they dropped it, or it could be how good of a son you are. Your achievements are what define you, not your failures, so it’s important to reaffirm with yourself the good that you have done.
- Make Goals
The second step is to change how you make your goals. Find executives or other successful figures who have achieved your goals and trace the path that got them there. Using their lives as a basis, you can devise smaller, more achievable goals that can act as stepping stones to your dream.
- Put Effort into Your Appearance
Putting effort into your appearance forces you to express yourself; it also allows you to take ownership in your style. Start with proper hygiene and grooming – keep up with haircuts, have a consistent beauty regimen, and so on. You should also aim to improve things you are insecure about. Getting a Bathmate, for instance, can give you the confidence that you need with regards to your body and help improve your romantic life. This, in turn, can reflect in your mannerisms and behaviour in a positive way.
Combine this beauty regimen with an update on your personal style. How you dress is how you appear to others, and you are in full control of the message.
- Healthy Eating and Healthy Living
Confidence isn’t all about how you project yourself on the outside, it’s about how you feel on the inside. That is why healthy living can help boost your confidence. This can be achieved by:
- Cutting Toxins from Your System The most obvious toxins are alcohol, tobacco (especially in the form of cigarettes, due to the tar) and many recreational drugs. The less obvious toxins are foods that are high in fat, sugar, and salt. These foods put a huge strain on your digestive system and your heart, leading to weight gain and lethargy. It can also cause longterm illnesses that are irreversible.
- Eating Healthier Instead of consuming these highly processed foods, aim to eat foods that are rich in nutrients. To help you along the way, you could also try adding multivitamins or vitamin supplements, especially if your diet is lacking any of the essential vitamins your body needs.
- Exercising Exercising has so many benefits. The most important is the release of endorphins, which make you feel great. Feeling great is the cornerstone of confidence, and, as a bonus, exercising can also tone your body and give you more natural energy throughout the day.
- Beat Unhealthy Stress
Stress wreaks havoc on our bodies. From increased blood pressure to psychological distress, to even hair loss, the symptoms are varied and can be severe. Prolonged stress also hurts your confidence, as your body is being pushed to the brink. Beating stress, however, is the only way that you can get a handle on the stressors in your life. Do this first by improving your health, and then the quality of your sleep. You can add mediation techniques, chiropractic massages, or whatever else you find works for you.
- Cut Out Toxic Relationships
One of the main factors of low self-esteem is due to criticisms from loved ones or other abusive relationship behaviour. No one should have to be the victim to such behaviour, and although leaving a toxic relationship is difficult, it is something that you need to do if you wish to improve the quality of your life. After all, your health and happiness are at stake, which is why you should cut out these toxic relationships immediately. In the best case scenario, they will think about their actions, and you can reconcile later on.
- Building a Better Network
The friends that are good for you will stick by your side. You will know who they are because you will feel good when you hang out with them. They are the ones that improve your life, and they should be prioritised as a result.
Expand your network of good people by getting out there and helping your community or co-workers. This has many benefits, as helping others is a great way to boost your confidence and make new friends.
There is no one trick that will help you improve your self-confidence, because everyone is different. Actively aiming to not only be a better person, but to like yourself is a big step, but once you’ve made it you’ll be on the path to being a better, happier you.