How copywriters and editors can foil the scammers
Wouldn’t it be marvellous if there was a stealthy punctuation expert zipping around removing unnecessary apostrophes and commas? Wherever someone got a their, they’re or there confused, Grammar Guy/Girl (delete as applicable) (GG for short) would leap into action.
Oh, my. It would be wonderful. GG would appear – pants on the outside, obvs – whenever grammar was mangled or jargon deployed. S/he would smite anyone who was reaching out, going forward or even actioning before close of play. (Special smiting for the architect of completioning.)
But sadly, GG has been reluctant to cast off the unassuming cardigan of alter-ego… until now that is.
Scammers are at large, trying to fool us into handing over our hard-earned by way of sneakiness and other underhand tactics. They don’t have the decency to do it face-to-face. No. Instead, they sidle into our in-boxes and pretend to be someone they aren’t.
However, they have a fatal weakness which, once revealed, means you will never fall for them again. They cannot punctuate, spell or lay out a communication properly. Even those who are especially sly will let themselves down by way of rogue capitalisation.
The truth is that only the good and just can walk the path of righteous grammar to the land of the correctly used Oxford comma. Those who are pure of heart will punctuate properly, be consistent in all matters and never, ever be tautologous. Forget cleanliness, it’s punctiliousness that’ll get you to heaven.
You honest and trust-worthy business types know what I’m talking about. It’s your secret. The most important asset in your organisation is your copywriter, editor or similarly-titled person who guards your messages (adverts, content, websites, campaigns, yadda, yadda) with their life. They are your credibility.
Scammers of my inbox, I’m on to you:
Please may I earn my GG badge?
Of course, you can!