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You are here: Home / boys / Why dogs are better than children…

Why dogs are better than children…

February 25, 2021 By Ellen Leave a Comment

I’ve been a ‘puppy parent’ for three weeks and already it feels like Yumi has been here forever. This is exactly the same with human babies, but, for me, a three-week old baby was still mysterious and imprisoning whereas with a dog I feel like I’m getting the hang of it. (Clearly the door to the Dungeon of Spoke Too Soon has just creaked open.)

I wonder that if I’d started with dogs I might never have moved on. Here’s why…

  • You can’t crate train a child
  • Your child will take take years and years before it can tell you it needs a poo
  • You have to wash children regularly
  • It takes a bit more than a few tiny treats to reinforce good behaviour in children
  • You have to dress children every day
  • While equally relentlessly marketed, child products are more expensive
  • You have to mush up baby food and spoon it into them
  • The ‘bad mum’ parent guilt nonsense doesn’t exist with dogs, yet
  • Children don’t clean the crumbs up
  • Children whinge about going for a walk
  • Children want to tell you about Minecraft/Pokemon/Fortnite
  • Children don’t want to eat what you serve them
  • Children roll their eyes

 

On the other hand:

  • Dogs’ jokes are not very funny
  • Dogs can’t make tea or pour gin

With apologies to my actual children, who are, of course, rather wonderful.

Filed Under: boys, family, other things I have learned, review Tagged With: boys, children, dog, family, humour, My Life, Yumi

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