Once upon a time there were stories about
women who pined and sighed
and sat about in big pants drinking gin.
If only, they wailed,
he would come and rescue me
from this life of solitude.
Because a man is what I need
to complete me
and bring me socks to wash.
Then one day when this had gone on far too long,
a wise and powerful witch arrived on her broomstick.
With a spell she banished this patriarchal claptrap forever.
From then on little girls read stories about women who pleased themselves
and everyone lived happily ever after.