Dear Dave
Thanks very much for your nice letter last week.
I’m sorry to hear you’re having trouble finding things. I know the feeling, I’ve absolutely no idea where I put the Christmas tree base when I put it away in January.
Still it was nice of you to let me know, especially as you seem so sure it’s still on Government property. I often find the best way to find something is to stop looking and just have a good old tidy up and clearout. You can get rid of a load of useless rubbish while you’re at it. Very satisfying. Then hay presto the very thing you’d lost turns up, as if by magic.
Thanks for the warning too about people contacting me unexpectedly. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for that one. In fact, I’m glad you let me know, otherwise, I’d have just let that chap in – the one who said he was here to read the meter.
Then I’d barely got rid of him when the post man was there startling me with his door bell ringing. He won’t be back here again in a hurry.
Anyhow, thanks once more and I’m delighted to hear it won’t happen again. You’ve been to Ikea, haven’t you? Thought so – those plastic storage units are great. You’ll never lose anything again.
Your etc,
PS Dave, I’ve just realised you’ve sent the same letter to 6,499,999 other families. How do you think that makes me feel? Not to mention the postage. It must have cost at least £1.65million in stamps. I wonder if that Ikea unit will be enough to stop a few of you losing your jobs.