I’m sitting here blushing. Yes, actually. With a proper red face. I think I’ve got away with it because my colleagues will probably think it’s a hot flush.
The reason is a post I wrote this week for Ready for Ten about the funny things parents do – me particularly. I talked about the time I inadvertently gave Boy One’s class mates a sex education lesson and the time I completely got his teacher’s identity wrong.
What I had in mind was a revelatory post about other embarrassing things. I had the fanciful notion that it would give you a laugh, maybe encourage a bit of bean-spilling and might be an all-round hoot.
Then I started to think about what I’d put in to the post.
First I thought about the time I’d ended up doing the walk of shame along a marina pontoon in the Caribbean whilst my limbs and face were painted a fetching shade of emerald green – it was the morning of March 18.
Then there was the time I vomited off the back of a yacht in the middle of a crowded marina surrounded by boats all full of crew getting ready for a yacht race. Seasickness wasn’t to blame.
Or perhaps the – oh, this one’s hard – time when I was sat on a lavatory, again on a boat, thinking I had the chance for an *ahem* quiet moment’s contemplation. Only I hadn’t banked on the rest of the crew suddenly wanting to do a sail change and the cludgee upon which I sat was also in what passed for a sail locker. Don’t let anyone tell you yacht racing is glamorous – being caught mid-poo while six or seven crewmates change a sail around you isn’t nice.
How about the evening in Las Palmas when I was the butt of a Spanish joke? The bar staff refused to understand that I wanted costillas until, in my frustration, I had pointed at my own… handily positioned under my bosom. Grrr.
Maybe the day I was so heavily pregnant I just couldn’t get into my car and had to phone my non-pregnant and skinny friend to reverse my car out of its perfectly normal parking space?
So you see there was just too much to choose from, so I decided not to bother.
Is it me, or is it hot in here?
The thought of being on a boat makes me want to vomit
This time it had much more to do with the amount of G&T I had consumed in the bar nearest to the boat!
I think the lesson to be learnt here is that you should avoid boats
Boats were fun. Sigh. Nowadays the only boats I get near are plastic ones in the baby's bath.
Seems like most of your embarrassing moments happen on a yacht – fortunately I don't do sailing but I did once accidently put someone else's knickers on at the swimming baths!
Hee hee. Great stories. Does it feel good to have shared?
TNMA,I'd love to hear how that came about.
PhotoPuddle, I'm still blushing.
I got stuck between cars too– but I had already had the baby!
Amodernmother, I've learned my lesson now – big, parking spaces. I now believe that's what parent and child spaces are really for!