X Factor and the bonniest cry babies

Do you ever get the feeling that the X Factor and their ilk are more a showcase of unbridled emotion than anything else? They should offer prizes for sobbing, wailing, yelping, squealing and leaping up and down like a puppy. With a special award for winning head-tilts.

I’m tired of seeing fake-tanned faces weeping onto Dermot’s broad shoulders. I want another kind of role model for my kids.

Over at STV I’ve written a post about how it’ll cause a wash-out generation.

What I’d like to see is more of an If Factor… a little extra Rudyard on show. Some spine, backbone, composure and dignity. A generation that knows that Kipling isn’t just a luggage label.

And in case you’ve forgotten here’s how it goes:

If by Rudyard Kipling.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!