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| Preparing for downward dog |
We have had a house guest for the past week – a large black Labrador called Pinto.
He’s lovely and perfectly well behaved, a credit to his owner. And he’s also been very instructive.
I hadn’t previously pawsed to consider how much wisdom there is in the wag of a tail or the sniff of a crotch. But, this past few days has been a revelation of sorts.
If there can be the Tao of Pooh/Steve/Geek, then surely there can be the Lamppost Less Peed On?
Here are the main tenets of pooch enlightenment that I have observed in a week:
If you don’t pay attention you will lose more balls than you thought possible.
A sliding door will not hold back persistence.
Golf is, in fact, merely a bewildered human who can’t decide whether to fling his stick or his ball.
Other people’s food always looks better.
If you walk twice a day every day, you will lose weight.
Humans might be daft enough to want to go outside in the rain when it’s late and you’re cosy, but dogs aren’t.
Dogs facilitate communication. People who wouldn’t talk to you normally are quite chatty when you’re at the other end of a dog lead.
Dogs don’t necessarily like children, just the food they drop/leave all over their faces.
One person’s friendly pet is another’s huge scary beast.
A cow pat that might look hard and crusty, may, in fact, be fooling you (it was actually Boy Three who learnt this, while wearing sandals).
If you have your balls in your mouth you can’t eat shit (this one’s a work in progress).
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| You want me to do what? No chance. |