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We all want to be happy. Right?
Of course we do… but what exactly is happy and how do we know when we’ve got there?
Is it about having a nice house, a nice spouse and nice children? It might, but, then again, I know a few people with all of that who are utterly miserable.
Maybe it’s something to do with money. After all they say ‘money can’t buy happiness, but it’s fun to try’. Certainly shiny things are great and money can doubtless buy freedom. But then we’ve all heard about the Lottery winners who attempt suicide and generally wish they’d never pocketed all that loot…
Lots and lots of unbounded fun, is that happiness? Nah, I don’t think so. Tears of a clown and all that. And think of the hangovers.
Being thin, having lots of sex, winning everything you compete in or being famous might work….or perhaps you need to do all of them at once and doesn’t that sound exhausting?
Sometimes you meet people and they are happy – they just exhale it. These people might be in the most awful circumstances that make them sad, frightened or angry… yet it doesn’t stop them returning to happiness as soon as they can.
Then there are others who relish their misery – you could say it makes them happy – they are brittle and bitchy always looking for the next worst thing. Nothing they have is right for them.
The difference I suspect is one of will. You just decide you are going to be one of the happy ones and do your level best to make it so. The choice is yours.
Disclaimer: I have been on a yoga retreat all weekend, pondering this and similar matters. I was reflecting on enlightenment and bliss and thinking about whether or not contentment is the same as happiness. Oh and I also had eight hours’ unbroken sleep on two consecutive nights and I feel very, very calm. Don’t worry, there is every likelihood normal service will be returned tomorrow.
Barring external influences like illness & bereavement and suchlike, I think you're probably right Ellen; you choose to be happy. And I do. Great post.
Thanks very much.
I suppose when you choose anything you have to work at doing it well. Thanks for your comment
For me being happy is to keep all the love and support I know I have from family and friends……if I was a miserable person for no good reason they might all go away and I'm not taking that chance. Lovely post, or I may never have thought about it. Enjoy hanging on to happiness, it's contagious you know
The glass half full, a positive outlook, “it's not a problem, it's an opportunity”. Being around people who look on the negative side of life, who see only the difficulties, can be extremely draining on your own energy. For a day try counting the number of people who start a sentence with “The trouble is…….” and then try avoiding them like the plague!!
Mxx
That yoga retreat sounds like it was a real tonic – could do with going on something like that myself ;o). It's a big question – and I suspect has a lot to do with living in the moment, and accepting what you can't have and feeling gratitude and content for what you do have! :o).
A thought provoking post. Hope the yoga retreat was fun x
A lovely post. They say 'Happiness if not wanting what you have, but having what you want' – which is an attitude of sorts, like you say, isn't it? Personally, I find myself humming, that's how I know!
MumB, thanks. I love the idea that your family and friends motivate you to be happy.
Thanks mum x
It was fabulous. I think living in the moment is crucial, but also reasonably tricky. In one meditation at the weekend I found my mind wandering to what I was going to cook for supper!
It was great fun.
I suppose sustained happiness must then depend on the quality of your humming!