You know you’re the parent of a three year old when…

Buzz and Woody

When someone, apropos of nothing, asks: “You know that cowboy?” And, of course, you do. It’s Woody from Toy Story, chum of Buzz Lightyear. 

You wince when the conversation comes round to just how early Darling Child was potty trained. 

“I’m not tired,” is usually followed around three minutes later by snores. 

There is Lego in your handbag. 

Conversations defy all sorts of logic. “I hear you were learning about Diwali today. Was it fun?”
“It wasn’t Diwali. It was The Valley. They have lanterns.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t Diwali?”
“Yes. Only The Valley.”

You have it on good authority that strawberry fromage frais tastes of monkeys. 

You find you’re the only one in the world who knows that the hysterical sobs are just an act. 

You know exactly which page “in and out of weeks and almost over a year” is on.

There are books hidden under the mattress so you never, ever have to read them again. 

Comforting a child who is weeping because he wasn’t on a holiday that happened before he was born is a fairly usual occurrence. 

Parents of two year olds suggest their Little Darling will grow out of the tantrums soon and you don’t have the heart to tell them the truth. 

There’s half a banana in your pocket. 

There’s always someone to blame for the mess/smell/lost or broken thing.

You have to come up with an answer to the following question. “Mummy where’s your willy?”

This is a partnered post. However, it doesn’t affect the quality of the post because I was going to write it anyway. May contain nuts.