Right.
Are you going in the right direction? Stepping out? Heading forward? Following your nose?
In fact, are you going in any direction or just in small circles?
Kate on Thin Ice invited me to her Groovy Mums’ twitter party a week or so. She’s been on a mission for some time to get the groove back into her own and other’s lives. By groove she means proper skipping along to the internal rhythm not trudging in a rut.
In the busyness of stuff and the very noisy clamour around us all, it’s so incredibly easy to stuck. Lost. Low. Meh. Poor. And, eventually, poorly. Mums particularly have a maze of expectation and obligation to navigate. In the dark having been spun round and round til we’re nearly sick first.
But we all know this, don’t we?
Anyhow, it got me to thinking. “I want to get my groove back,” we’d agreed. But, actually, that’s all wrong. Grooves aren’t back: They’re forward.
Most of us parents were having a pretty cool time with jobs, pert breasts and a social life. We were free. And what we freely chose was to become mothers. Seemingly overnight we exchange all of that for a bundle of lovable baby.
At first it seems like a fair deal. But you didn’t read the small print, it doesn’t work like that at all.
After a while (and obviously this is a simplistic model that ignores the devastating and very real effect of PND) the lovable baby is still lovable but doesn’t replace in your very self all you had before. All that made you groovy. You want your groove back.
Only, it’s all gone. You can’t go back. So grooves must be located in the future… and the now.
But how? Well yes. If it was that easy we’d all be doing it.
Perhaps a good place to start is with the late Pete Seeger whose time sadly came this week.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivshYkrNWrg?rel=0]
By which I mean life must turn. Like the wheels of a bike – keep peddling and you don’t lose balance.
kateonthinice says
I love this post. Groovy Mums started because I wanted the reassurance that I was not the only mum who had lost her way a bit/a lot. There never was a plan and I was never a guru then and remain in the middle of the journey of figuring it all out bit by bit. You are a wise woman. I learn a lot from you
Ellen Arnison says
Thanks lovely lady. I think we're all just muddling through it and trying to find a balance.