As Mother’s Day looms again – I thought it was time to give this post another airing.
How did your mothering go? Are you still in the midst of it, or is it mostly behind you? Were you a success today?
How did you do? Were you any good?
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| Clearly a successful parenting moment at the Palace of Bundance |
Let me tell you how you did. You were fantastic! Without question.
It is the truth. And it’s about time we started believing it.
Because we don’t believe it… and neither does anyone else. It’s like the whole world is ganging up on mums and trying to make us feel terrible.
Have you seen the media? Huge online parenting communities urge us to talk about our #parentfail moments while market-leading newspapers line famous mums up to talk about their regrets.
Stop it now. Please. Not just for the sake of women who are doing their very best, yet unsurprisingly feel that it’s not good enough – not by a long way – but for our children too.
- If you believe – because everyone says so – that having a job (or being a stay-at-home mum) makes you a bad parent, then how can you teach your sons and daughters the value of a rewarding career or the worth of a decision not to pursue one for a while?
- If you believe – because the world tells us it’s so – that we’re failing as mothers because we’re single parents, then what message does that send out to children about the realities of love and life? When the story takes a twist, the characters don’t magically all become baddies.
- If you believe – and plenty of people think so – that your method of parenting is wrong, then how can children learn that it takes all kinds, but each of them is just as good?
- If you believe – as you’re supposed to – that someone else knows the best way for you to live your life, then how can you demonstrate confident and responsible decision making?
Of course, it isn’t easy and the answers aren’t always obvious. We learn, make mistakes and muddle through. Everyone does.
But please know your mothering is just as good as mine… as hers… as the next woman. And don’t believe anyone who tries to tell you different.
If you don’t believe me, call your mum – she did OK, didn’t she?
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