You know that sexism everyone’s going on about. The one that everyone agrees is a Very Bad Thing but most certainly doesn’t happen anywhere round here. That one.
Well, the thing is, it does happen round here, round there and most other places.
It has occurred to me that many of the perpetrators of sexism – that’s sexist gits and gitesses (for there are women too) – don’t actually know they’re doing it.
Here are some clues:
If you think a person’s body is more interesting/important/noteworthy than their mind then you’re sexist. To double check, have you ever thought that it’s only ugly/old/fat people who say that because they’re jealous?
If you think you can tell something about someone’s sexual behaviour just by looking at them then you’re sexist. You know, must be easy because they’re flashing some flesh, are bound to be a bit of a goer because they’ve got big tits.
If you think that ‘feminist’ isn’t a nice thing to say about someone then you’re a sexist. That’s a bit like saying you don’t like Nelson Mandela because he campaigned against apartheid even though you know apartheid is a bad thing.
If you think that looking after your own children makes you extra special (particularly if there are nappies) and almost certainly deserving of appreciation then you are sexist. Double check by asking if you’ve ever referred to it as babysitting.
If you have ever told people about how you ‘help’ your partner with domestic chores then you are sexist. Think about it, it suggests that you’re doing a favour by lifting a finger.
If in the wake of a sexual rejection you have considered the possibility that it is because of some hitherto unnoticed homosexuality, then you are sexist. You get extra points for this one if you have ever made any comment to or about lesbians that referred to their sex lives.
If you have ever used any of these terms then you are sexist – lady driver, woman doctor, female airline pilot or male nurse. An exception would be if their gender was somehow significant, but I can’t think of a circumstance it would be.
If you ever use a phrase that describes a woman that you wouldn’t use to describe a man – and vice versa – then you are sexist. For example, silly woman, vicious cow, stupid bitch, mean old hag, dozy tart or lazy bint. There are many, many more, but if you aren’t sure, see if you could say the same thing about the opposite gender.
If you still don’t understand what I’m talking about, then you are sexist.