Nearly joking |
One of today’s jobs |
A woman’s work is never done. Barefoot, pregnant and chained to the kitchen sink.
Maybe that’s a joke, a cliche that’s old hat, but not entirely…
Survey after survey show that women do the lion’s share of domestic chores regardless of how much paid work they do.
They have precious little time for themselves and constantly report feeling tired. (These surveys are filed under No Shit Sherlock.)
This is 2018 and equal opportunities have been enshrined in law for many years now. We all know the numbers suggest that the glass ceiling is barely cracked, but at least we know what should be happening.
However, it’s the not-at-paid-work time I’m interested in.
When I’m not working I want to do stuff with the Boys and the Panther, and my friends and the rest of my family. I have books to read and books to write. Blogging, social media, hills to climb, countries, museums, conversations, recipes, musical theatre, sun salutations.
At the same time, I also want to have clean, flat clothes in my wardrobe, full fat toilet rolls, enough fresh groceries, a taxed and serviced car, a groomed garden and fewer weeds.
I’d like a house that doesn’t scream squalor at me and clutter that doesn’t threaten to suffocate.
isn’t something a bit like that what we all want? Men and woman.
Obviously, I am a woman and I’m seeing this from the oestrogen side of the street. But I have known a few men, hell, I’ve even married a couple.
Panther of News, if you have got this far this isn’t simply a nagblog, but I would like to know what you think.
I have observed that in my home and most of the homes I know the woman tends to be responsible for domestic matters. This means that even if she doesn’t actually do the work she knows when to hire a professional for Gutter Cleaning in Kingwood TX. She also thinks about it, factors it into her available time and, often, puts it before things she really wants to do.
Not the most rigorous piece of research I’ll concede. However, it certainly looks like a gender issue to me. So what’s going on?
Is it a throwback to prehistoric days when we kept the cave neat while our men were off hunting and gathering?
Is it that a well as producing eggs, our ovaries also reduce our tolerance to mess, dirt and disorder? Therefore we are most likely to give in and get the Hoover out.
Is it the reverse that a penis blinds its owner to dust, smears and empty food cupboards?
More paranoid. Have we managed to be persuaded that our womanly worth is measured in clean windows and home baking thus making us so busy that we have less time for proper a achievements? Keeping the competition down, you see.
I’d love to know the answer and more importantly the solution as I have a world to change and not enough time to do it in. So I’d rather not have to think about how to get nasty marks off the carpet. Thank god for carpet stores where I can buy new ones anytime.
Meantime, today – a day off from paid work – will be the time to call a pressure washing service to clean my squalid house because I can no longer stand it.
Looking for Blue Sky says
You see it never seems to reflect badly on the man of the house if it is a tip – only in terms of his choice of wife. Or so my ex-MIL let me know in no uncertain terms!
Ellen Arnison says
That's true. It's something that we're supposed to just be able to do and if we can't/don't we are somehow lacking.
brightonjock says
Speaking as one half of an all-female household, it isn't any easier when there's two women sharing the space! I loathe and detest housework and so do it only when it's necessary. My missus feels the same. We do clean up but not on a religiously daily basis. As I work mainly from home or at least spend more time here than the missus who's got a horrible commute, I do feel I should do most of the housework.
And I often hear my late mother's voice in my head when I consider Hoovering or washing the windows but then think 'och it will do until tomorrow!' Is it a feminist issue? Probably. And gender stereotyping – girls help mum in the kitchen while boys go in the garden with dad – doesn't help (says the woman still bitter that she was ironing aged 10 while her brothers watched TV!).
In short, I haven't a clue. But I do know that carpet won't clean itself so I'm off to do my Sunday morning chores.
Ellen Arnison says
Interesting. My sister's in an civil partnership too and it does seem to me that there's a slightly fairer division of labour – or at least the negotiations start from a flatter place.
Anonymous says
“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance”. Just found this which made me smile. Once, before freezers, automatic washing machines, shrink wrapping, sell-by dates,hoovers,antibiotics, housework was a lot about hygiene and health. It was also unskilled labour and even not very wealthy households employed someone less well off to do it. Now we have all the gadgets, but they still need kicking into action. Personally, I've reached a compromise with myself. I recognise I don't like feeling overwhelmed by what surrounds me, so it's more about my mind-set than the actual jobs, so
I tackle it. If I've cleaned, tidied my home throughout over the course of a week, that'll do. It's far more about me taking control of it, than what anyone else thinks. Mxx
PS There's a difference between tidying and cleaning – the former (putting things away and clearing a few serfaces) can make a room look as if you've done the latter!
PPS my office desk is the exception to any kinds of order I try to impose on the rest of the house, but I can always shut the door on that!!!!
Anonymous says
PPPS I've just noticed that on my computer all the comments seem to have been made in the middle of the night. I posted mine at about 12.08 p.m., not 04.08 as shown on mine. We can't all have sat up all night!
Debbie says
We came back from a lovely mini-break on Thursday night. Since then, I have done laundry, vacuumed a couple of rooms, mopped the kitchen, put new bedding on our bed, made two dinners, done shopping. And I still found time to collect repaired car, go into town to change the residents' permit disc for said car, go the gym and do a 5k run.
Stuart has been fishing and gone to the angling megastore to buy more fishing supplies. He did take a bin bag out and strip the bed – but both only after gentle suggestions from me.
I did at one time think of trying to wait him out but realised that, even though I'm many miles from fastidious, I would crack at the squalor long before he did.
Ellen Arnison says
I think we all aim for a compromise, I just seem to find it more and more difficult. x
Ellen Arnison says
I notice that and I've no idea how that came about.
Ellen Arnison says
I've tried the waiting game too – in fact I still do over some things, his floordrobe for example – but it's far from satisfactory.