As we celebrate our one month stay-in-iversary, I have more and more questions and fewer and fewer answers.
- Where are you supposed to put all the rubbish?
- Are deserted city centres, in fact, full of people wandering around taking pictures of empty streets?
- Why do some people find the concept of social distancing so difficult when it really isn’t?
- Why, even though holding your breath doesn’t work, do you still do it when passing someone?
- Why does a global pandemic mean that fewer people can pick up their dog poo?
- Why does being stuck at home make people want to cook like it’s 1952?
- Why do we park our cars 2m apart now too?
- How is it possible to spend quite so much time achieving quite so little?
- Why is it so difficult to win a war when all we have to do is sit down and behave ourselves?
- Why are nurses, teachers, care workers and cleaners not paid considerably more?
- How can time pass so slowly?
- How can it be that what seemed unthinkable only a couple of months ago has come true?
- Who does Donald Trump think he is?
- How could care homes have been forgotten?
- Why can’t people turn lights off when they leave a room?
- How can it be mid afternoon already?
- Who ate all the chocolate?
- Who is Joe Wicks and what’s he doing shouting at me in my own sitting room?
- If they don’t want us to buy non-essential items, why don’t they ban their sale?
- Why do people make so much noise when they eat?
- Seriously, where are we supposed to put all this rubbish?
- Where is all this free time we’re supposed to put to good self-improving use?
- Would it be a good idea to rent a skip?
- Who hasn’t done his chores?
- Who’s zooming who?
- Does anyone know what day it is?
Perhaps the only answer I have is to come to terms with shrugging and letting it go…
