The first year of motherhood is a big adjustment – it’s tiring, repetitive, and often overwhelming, especially in the early months when the days run into each other and you’re trying to keep up with a baby who changes constantly. A lot of it is lovely, but a lot of it is hard too, and what tends to help most is finding a few small things that make daily life easier to manage. With that in mind, keep reading to find out about some of the things that actually make a difference, especially in those first twelve months.
Really Simple Food
One of the first things to go when you’re short on time is making food for yourself. Cooking feels like a big ask when you’re juggling naps, feeds, and everything in between, so it helps to have things in the house that are quick, filling, and don’t need prep. Although of course, you’ll still want to be healthy when you can, don’t feel guilty if it’s not always possible – getting something to eat, even if it’s not your five a day, is better than nothing, especially when you need energy to look after a baby.
Batch cooking works for some people, so that might be an option, and others get by with ready meals or snacks left by friends or family. What really matters is that there’s something easy to eat, especially when it’s the middle of the afternoon and you haven’t had a chance to have lunch because of nappy changes and feeding the baby.
Let The Plan Change
Some days go to plan – in fact, most don’t. And although it’s normal to want structure, especially when everything feels new, it’s also important to forget the idea that your routine will look the same every day (and it’s definitely not going to be the same as before the baby was born).
There’ll be days when nothing works and the naps are off (or don’t even happen), the feeding feels nonstop, and your to-do list barely gets touched, and that’s okay. You’re not behind, and you’re not failing, it’s just that the plan just changed, and that’s why giving yourself permission to adapt is part of what makes this year feel easier.
Say Yes To Help
The help people offer often comes in vague, well-meaning ways, but if someone asks if you need anything, it’s worth being specific and honest because then you’ll get the help you need, like a friend who picks up some extra milk or a relative who walks the baby for twenty minutes, or someone who brings dinner over and doesn’t expect you to have a full conversation with them.
It’s definitely hard to ask, but the truth is that people like to feel useful, and it’s completely fine to accept support when it’s offered, even if that’s just someone holding the baby so you can have a shower without rushing.
Don’t Put Yourself Under Pressure
There’s this idea that new motherhood is supposed to be joyful all the time, but it’s not. Some moments are lovely, some are exhausting, and some feel like they’re dragging, even when you’re doing your best (even if, when you look back, it all went really fast).
You don’t have to love every second to be doing a great job, and it’s completely normal to feel flat sometimes, or bored, or like you miss your old routine. That doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful, and it doesn’t mean you should feel guilty – it’s a totally human reaction to big changes (and exhaustion).
Make One Thing Easy
You don’t have control over every part of the day, but you can choose one area to make easier, and that might be breakfast, perhaps bath time, or maybe you make your own bedtime routine.
Whatever it is, try to take it right back to the essentials. For example, if mornings are hard, prep the night before, and if bath time’s stressful, skip it sometimes. If you’re shattered by 6pm, change the plan so that the evening is better for you. The point is that one small change can take the pressure off more than you’d expect.
Find The Right Support
Sometimes it’s helpful to talk to other parents, especially ones going through something similar. Not everyone has people nearby who understand things like feeding struggles, sleep regressions, or routines that don’t match the books.
You might find that support in local groups, or online forums, or maybe just in a message with someone you trust. And if you’re doing something like tandem feeding, where advice is limited or opinions are mixed, it helps to hear from people who’ve been there too so you can get all the information you need to make the right choice for you (and your baby).
Do Something For You
It’s easy to stop doing the things that used to bring you comfort – you’re tired, your hands are full, and your time never really feels like your own, so how can you do it anyway? But if there’s something small you can bring back into your life, like a five-minute playlist, a short walk, or reading a few pages of a book, it helps you feel more like yourself again, and that’s really important and very helpful.
You don’t have to do it every day and you don’t have to necessarily schedule it in (unless you find that helps), but doing it once in a while when you’re able to can really help and make you feel a lot better.
Be More Patient
The first year of having a baby is all about adjusting, learning, getting to know your baby, and slowly but surely working out what’s best and what works for you all. There will be days that feel like you’re really progressing and days when you feel like you’re moving backwards, but that’s normal and it’s all positive.
In the end, the best thing you can do is not put pressure on yourself and remind yourself that you’re still doing okay.