This charming notice has appeared on Boy One’s bedroom door. Interesting to note that moron was rejected in favour of baboon and that death is not enough as the ultimate threat appears to be the naking of his stuff. UPDATE: An expert handwriting decoder (AKA a primary teacher) reckons the ultimate threat is braking his stuff. […]
Review: Hot Wheels Power Tower
Why shouldn’t porn stars be in panto?
Craig’s not going to the ball this year… Poor Craig Chalmers. He has just been sacked from his next job, Playing Prince Charming in patio in Dunfermline. Craig was doing ever so well. Since appearing on Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Any Dream Will Do he had established himself as a talented performer. I took my kids […]
Things intended to be funny, that aren’t.
Clowns The boys and I popped into Ikea for a meat-ball based lunch and found, to our utter disinterest, that it was a family day. That’s why there was a torn-faced clown wandering around spinning plates. Clearly bored riged, he tried to strike up conversation. The topic? Our local undertaker. Top Gear Three grown men […]
What your Soreen says about you.
Soreenly happy whichever way you slice it… Soreen. Oh yes, put butter on it… and eat. Not so. There are as many ways to scoff Soreen lunch box loaves as there are kinds of people (almost). My extensive study of the subject has shown that one’s approach gives a clear indication of their personality type. […]
Coming off Citalopram – crying in the car…
Spelling mnemonic: Jimmy’s a vile man
There’s only one l in Savile and that’s how to remember.Every day brings more revelations of vile abuses be the children’s presenter once considered to be a national treasure. And we shake our heads and ask ourselves how this can have happened.When I was 10 or 11, I went on an Outward Bound course at […]
Review: Monkeyfarts by David Borgenicht
What happened to the blind skunk? He fell in love with a fart Why don’t monsters eat clowns? Because they taste funny What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?A carrot What kind of crows stick together? Vel-crows Are you groaning yet? Yup – me too. These are just some of the gags that fill the pages of […]