In a bun dance

If I'm going to get something, I usually get it in spades - luck (both kinds), children, clutter, dirty laundry, bright ideas, daft ideas...

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a chair called Helga

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Actually there are some things about getting older I quite like.It’s probably part of Mother Nature’s masterplan – sort of compensation for the slight astonishment every time I see myself in the mirror. You’d think that eventually you’d get used to the fact that the person peering back seems to be slightly over-weight and a […]

walking and talking

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The idea was modest – a few folk would walk the River Eden from source to sea. It’s some 65 miles and if they could muster £100 a mile then the local hospice at home organisation would be £6500 better off. And on the way people could nominate a day to remember someone they had […]

Infection warning

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We should have paid more attention to the infestation of pre-orders that were cropping up all over the place. Recent reports point to a few sightings of pre-planned activity.Where will it end?Please be ready to take swift and decisive action if you spot any pre-anticipation, pre-plotting, pre-expectation, pre-scheming and, most deadly of all, pre-forethought.

Ask me another

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“So how do mummies get babies in their tummies then?” asked Number Two Son in his very carrying voice.In spite of the lunchtime rush, the Real Food Cafe in Tyndrum went oddly quiet. I tried passing the buck but for once the News Panther seemed stuck for an answer. In fact, he was probably the […]

A monstering

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It was all No 1 son’s idea. He had a bit of a thing going about dinosaurs and had read somewhere – and there wasn’t much he hadn’t read on the subject – that Nessie might have been a neglected plesiosaur lurking in the loch. So there was nothing else for it but to go […]

Let’s hope they caught it in time

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Three little words by Jim Carruth Fear the dayfather and songather the flockfollow the herdempty the fieldsfill the shedclose the doorload the gunsagain and againuntil it’s donecarry the deadbuild the pyrewatch the smokecover the landmourn the lossshare the wordslove and griefpain and deathfoot and mouth.

Learning curve

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We’re all doing it… moaning about the school holidays. It’s a bit like how we whinged about school dinners, cos it was the thing to do. When actually, looking back, they weren’t so bad for the money.There is no avoiding the fact that the holidays do pose some dilemmas.It is very liberating for all of […]

Whose Facebook?

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Right. So there you are getting all set up on Facebook. But you can’t find a photie of you sky diving into an all-night naked rave or swimming with the Loch Ness monster. Or at least not one that you could easily explain away to the vice cops.Shame. Then what do you do next? Look […]