Heavy sh*t Among the many lies they tell to women is the one that says they shouldn’t lift heavy things. Not sacks of potatoes, gigantic rocks nor over-stuffed suitcases and certainly not weights, on a bar, in a gym. That’s dangerous, stick to the tiny pink dumbbells. Look out! Don’t try weights! Your muscles will […]
Administration – 100 words
Administration It’s not the numbers that chill – they’re too big to make sense. Nor the screamed imaginings when you stand in these places, skin prickling. Not the pitifully twisted spectacles, nor shoes’ polished leather worn soft over bunions. Not dead smile denture mountain. Not returning birds’ lament for the lost. They aren’t the worst. […]
Haggis – 100 words
Haggis Take entrails of a sheep, add spice and stuff them into the animal’s dead stomach. Boil for hours. Stab it open with a knife taken from a live man’s sock. It’s a special occasion. The improbably delicacy will be lubricated by whisky and poetry and friendship at thousands of tables in dozens of countries […]
Growthful – 100 words
Hyperbole – 100 words
Hyperbole The worst thing ever is: yawning upstairs to find you didn’t put the sheets back on paper cuts the last loo roll square misplaced apostrophe’s bass beats leaking from headphones calls about your recent traffic accident steaming coffee, stale milk realising you clicked ‘reply all’ just when it’s too late… and that your mic […]