Previously, I’d imagined Writer’s block was an empty loft. Nothing there but pigeon shit and echoes It’s not though. It is stuffed, rammed, jammed and bloody well bunged up. Like a colon after Christmas. Too much feasting on the fabulous Bingeing. Masticating and swallowing. Until All at once Immobile, There’s belly ache and belching. […]
Scottish summertime health warning
School’s out. The sun’s out. The sky is blue. Birds are singing. Scotland’s tabloid journalists are rushing to tell us which exotic place it’s hotter than. (I just asked the Panther and it’s Morocco apparently. The streets are athrong with citizens enjoying the warm – like being on holiday, only you have to go to […]
Lusting for Poldark and other examples of sexism
“We’re man and wife,” he said. It was my husband speaking about something I can’t remember. Certainly nothing important. Another one of those domestic conversations, half attended to and disregarded before long. Earlier than most if it was of the ‘it’s your turn’ variety. “Hang on a minute,” I said. “That’s sexist, isn’t it?” “No,” […]
What did we learn from the snow then?
Well, wasn’t that strange? Half a week of mayhem all because it snowed for a few days. This is especially odd in Scotland where our normal position is to sneer at the ‘Soft Southerners’ who get their knickers in a knot over a bit of bad weather. It didn’t take long to slither down-hill from […]
Periods. Period. What should we call it?
It’s a terrible cringe of a word – period. If a word ever wore a tight bun and kept its books in alphabetical order, it’s a period. This is the word that goes with the twee trickles of dyed blue water poured in gleaming ad-land laboratories. Period. Flow, stop. Period. We need something better. Humanity […]